Thursday, July 2, 2009

My Canada Day

Canada was yesterday - July 1st. So, yes, I got one day off and it was in the middle of the week. It was still pretty awesome. Better than awesome, I would argue.

Happy Canada Day!!!!

I slept in, and tidied up my apartment. Chatted with LeBlanc on GTalk, and then headed to my parent's house.

LeBlanc and I joke that everytime we go home, we are there to perform manual labour. Which is mostly true. Last weekend I went home, I washed and vaccumed both my car, and my dad's van. This time, I helped weed the flower beds, and mowed the lawn. Front and back.

Joking aside, I really enjoy this stuff. It makes me feel like I'm at home.

As my mom made dinner, I read my book at the front steps.

Back tracking a bit, I've had numerous talks with my girlfriends, and sisters about my dilemma. I guess, on hindsight, what I realize is 2 main things.

1) My parents don't want to see me get hurt.
2) My parents are realizing that myself (and my sisters) are grown up.

With this in mind, I wanted to take a new approach when bringing up this topic. It wasn't so much the trip. Or LeBlanc. Or the sex. It was me growing up. And I needed to be careful, to not hurt my parents. (You were right, Greears!)

I wanted them to know that they have raised me well. If I have kids one day, I only hope to be able to do as good a job of them. They have given my sisters and I so much. But at the same time, they raised us to think for ourselves. To not just accept, but question the world around us. And that's what I am doing. And although we may not see eye to eye on all subjects, I ask that we both still respect one another's decisions. And to trust me. Trust that they raised me well enough to make my own decisions.

After dinner, we had a talk. My dad, my mom, and I. And I'm so grateful and thankful, and lucky that we can communicate so freely. My parents have sure grown up a lot, and have also let us grow up a lot, as well.

My dad said that he has been struggling with thoughts, as to weather letting us to go to university with a work-study program was a good decisions. He feels like we're out in the world so much, that he's not really needed. Or we have become so independent that we don't need home, anymore.

My family is poor. We grew up with hand me down clothes from family friends. We never ate out at restaurants. If we went to McDonald's, it was with coupons. And I am proud of it. It has made me who I am today.

One of the biggest dilemma's my parents faced was how on earth they would ever afford a good education for their 3 girls. Post secondary school is very expensive, and they would never be able to afford that with their salary. Sure, we could borrow money from the government, but the idea of their kids coming out of school with so much debt was also a little scary for my parents.

When I went to a school with a work study program, I found a way to not only earn valuable work experience during my undergraduate degree, but also a way to pay for my own living expenses, as well. It seemed like a win-win situation. My parents were really happy with it, as well.

But I guess, the price of independence is high. Once you start making your own decisions, it's difficult to go back to other people making decisions for you. Almost impossible, I think.

My ideals, I believe are deeply rooted with my Chinese culture which I was brought up with by my parents. But there are also parts from growing up in a multicultural community, such as Toronto. I guess, I try to take the best of worlds, and meld them into something that works for me and makes me happy.

In the end, my parents just want to be included more in my life. They wanted to get to know LeBlanc more, so they don't feel like their daughter is going on a trip with a stranger. They want me to come home more often. To call, and just ask them how life in general is going. That's all. And I promised that I would do that, but they also need to know that I do want to spend time with friends, and weekends, are oh-so-short. But I will try harder to keep in touch.

(To be on the safe side, right when I got home, I ran upstairs and stashed my passport in my purse. hehe.)


Greears said...

Wow! It sounds like you made this work out perfectly! You even got to the heart of the problem. It sounds like it could not have gone any better!

They should be very proud of you. You are proving to be a centered, grounded person. Good Job!

Des said...

Thanks Greears! And thanks for all your kind words and support.