So, I've been having this build up of emotion. It started one day at a traffic light when I was worked up from driving through downtown rush hour traffic. Hate. Doing. That. But he reached over and gave me a squeeze and told me I'm doing great.
Then, there was last weekend when he queued up my favourite Taylor Swift songs on YouTube and sang along, even with his friends around. (He doesn't get embarrassed easily, eh!)
Or how he never gets mad at me even though I've stolen the blanket in the middle of the night from him on several occasions and he's gotten a bit of a cold in the morning.
I like watching him help his little brothers with their homework.
I like that he is proud of my work, and introduces me as a "real" engineer and that I'm "smarter than him" even though, I don't think it's true.
And lately the urge to tell him how I feel has been a bit overwhelming. But...
When was the right time? ...The right place? ...How should I say it? ...Should I be scared of being the first to say it? ...What if he doesn't feel the same way? ...Would he think I'm moving too fast and pushing him away? ...Am I making myself too vulnerable?
But last night, I did it.
He drove me home after dinner with his family at his parents' house. We kissed good night, and I went to grab my bags. Then, I decided that I had to tell him right then, and didn't want to put it off any longer.
I hug him, and say, "I think I love you."
There is a pause, as I think he is digesting my unexpected farewell.
LeBlanc: Thank you. That's very nice of you to say.
LeBlanc: I really like you a lot.
me: Ummm. Thank you. That's very nice of you to say.
LeBlanc: This is new to me. I've never felt this way before.
me: What's that?
LeBlanc: Felt like I really like someone.
Aside thought: I admit, I was a wee bit dissappointed that he didn't say that he loved me, too. But, I was kinda prepared for the fact that LeBlanc, might not in fact be
1) ready to say it
2) might not feel it
I don't want him to say that if he does not mean it. I don't want him to just say it because I said it. And I appreciate his honesty. I am glad that I was able to tell him how I feel. But, still.
PS. I've been working on a new blog which focuses on personal finance. Join me on my journey to financial freedom at FrugalGirlintheCity.blogspot.com!