Please Punch Me in the Face if I'm Annoying

I want my guy to punch me in the face if I'm annoying. Figuratively speaking, of course.

I was reading this post from Loayza from Become a Young Successful Entrepreneur. This is a post where he talks about how he determined his girlfriend was the one.

An important point he brought up was to be able to have a fight with his girlfriend. He says that it shows that he cares enough to get into an argument with her. Which raises a very good point for me.

When Almond and I were dating, we hardly every fought (for almost 5 years!). True, we were both very easy going people, but sometimes, I would just get annoyed and snap. But, Almond would not.

If I got annoyed, Almond would try calm me down or try to rationalize with me. But he would never lose his cool with me. If he got mad, he would rather be alone until the anger passed.

I know that different people deal with anger or feelings, in general, differently, but this really bothered me. It bothered me especially more towards the end of our relationship, when I felt like I had to yell or cry just to be heard, and Almond was always as cool as a cucumber.

I really wanted Almond to just get mad at me. To yell at me. For some reason, I felt like this "calm facade" was a shield for him not to reveal his raw emotions to me, and that I wasn't worth the effort to fight.

I did know part of the reason behind this behavior. Almond's parents fought a lot. Almond said that he hated the idea of yelling at me, or losing his temper. He said that he didn't see why we couldn't just speak calmly. He didn't see what yelling or fighting would get accomplished.

For me, this was a main contributor to why we didn't work out. Even though, Almond had his alone moments to sort through his thoughts, he never told me the things that bothered him about me.

It all came out in verbal diarhea that had been suppressed for almost 5 years, after we broke up. Random thoughts that were suppressed that he held against me like a grudge, blaming me for not knowing, because I should have known.

Should have known how he really felt about going to Japan, when he told me it was OK.

Should have known how mad he was when I gave him wrong directions my first week at my new house.

Should have known that he didn't want banana and strawberry smoothies.

And yes, these were the exact examples he brought up! But not once, had he actually told me when we were together. When he was in fact, fuming with anger inside. Men.

And so that concludes my previous experience of having fights in my past relationships. Fast forward to now.

LeBlanc and I haven't had a big fight, yet. There have been annoyances - some bigger than others. Sometimes, I can be annoying, and I can read the signs. Sometimes LeBlanc gets up and physically removes himself from situation because he is annoyed, and he thinks he will snap at me if he doesn't. Sometimes, it is my fault, and sometimes, it's just a bunch of factors.

LeBlanc and I have had some serious talks, and I have asked him to let me know when something is up, or if I do something that upsets him, or if something changes. I think he thinks that this stems from my previous relationship, which it does, but more importantly, I just want to know that I am worth the effort of a fight. Maybe I should be more clear.

What are your thoughts fighting in a relationship?? How do you and your significant other deal with these fights?? How do you think they have helped you and your relationship??

The Generation and/ or Cultural Gap

My parents immigrated to Canada almost 30 years ago. My mom was born in Cambodia. Her family was fairly wealthy, but they fled the Khmer Rouge to Hong Kong in the 1960's. My dad was born in Vietnam. His family was poor, but they managed get my dad out of Vietnam to Hong Kong so he didn't have to serve in the Vietnam War. My sisters and I were born in Toronto, and have grown up here our entire lives.

When I think back, and realize how much opportunity my sisters and I have at a better life than my parents. And how hard they have worked to give us those opportunities, I am humbled and truly grateful.

But then there are times, when our views are different on certain subjects, and I feel that I may be hurting them by having a different opinion.

For instance, LeBlanc and I have been planning to take a vacation together. We're thinking of a relaxing stay in Europe (Normandy, France) or strolling along beaches, long walks, bicycle rides, wine, food, and lots of lounging around. Both our jobs are demanding, and we think it would be nice to just have nothing on the schedule, except "us."

I mention this to my parents, and they seemed to take it quite well. (Much to my surprise. So, I called LeBlanc and told him that I really should be giving my parents more credit.)

Then, I get a call from my mom the past Friday. She was very concerned about this trip of mine, she proceeded to dissuade me from going.

The thing is, I get very defensive when I feel someone else's goal is to change my mind. It's an automatic reaction for me, and unfortunately, my listening abilities drop by 50%. All I can hear is "You are wrong. I am right."

My mom was concerned that "something" might happen between LeBlanc and I if we are alone in room together. Since we would most likely be sharing a hotel room. Most likely with one bed.

Did I mention that I am 25 years old? I am.

Anyway, my mom tells me that she doesn't think this type of behaviour (premarital sex) is good. It's not a right path, or reason. It's lustful. If I marry someone, they may not like it. Etc., etc., Basically, it's wrong, and she doesn't think I should do it, and wants me to PROMISE not to.

She pushed a lot of buttons when she was trying to convince me.

1) She thinks I'm being casual by sleeping with someone before marriage.

2) She thinks I've had too many relationships (this is my second serious one)

3) She thinks that "little Chinese girls" are supposed to live at home until they are married, but since I work far, she "lets" me live on my own

4) She thinks my future husband will not accept or like the fact that I've been with othen men before him

It's funny. When we were little, we were told we couldn't or shouldn't do things because we should be getting good grades. In high school, it was so that we can get in a good university. In university, it was so that we could graduate and get a good job. And now that I've done that, the NEW GOAL is the good husband. (I see the trick, I've fallen for it my entire life!)

My mom is a very stubborn woman. And I do believe that children need to have strict rules when they are growing up, because they don't know the difference between right and wrong. However, I am an adult now. And I have been for some time. I've been making my own decisions, whether she realizes that or not, and it's no longer her say.

Last time when I wanted to go on vacation with Almond (I think it was 4 or 5 years ago), she basically had the same "calm" talk with me. She states her reasons, and then expects you to agree with them. I stated my reasons, too, and I told her that I still wanted to go, that I didn't agree with her on her reasons.

She. Freaked. Out. She got very, very angry. And she hit way below the belt. She pretty much dared me to go. To go against her will.

And I didn't. Almond didn't want to go anymore. Who wants to have that kind of an axe over their neck?!

And my biggest fear was that she was going to pull the same stunt this trip. I'm not expecting her to agree with me, or be encouraging of my trip. But, she should know that it's not her say, anymore.

I was very upset with the phonecall. I reminded her of what happened last time. And I asked her that if she pulled something like that, how am I supposed to respect her?

If we are both adults, we are both entitled to our own opinions and our own decisions. We may agree on some issues, and we will disagree on others, but she cannot force me to agree with her. She can't threaten me into agreeing with her. I lost a lot of faith, when she stooped to that level last time, and it hasn't been completely restored to this day.

If she really did want me to think about it. I will. But I might not change my mind. And if I don't. She has to respect that. She can't throw a fit, and threaten myself or LeBlanc.

I've been talking this over with my sisters, my friends, and LeBlanc (though LeBlanc doesn't know all the details of the past), and I guess I need to man up and have a conversation with my mom. Calmly. Even if it hurts her, that her daughter is a grown woman now. I'm not innocent and naive. And if I want to sleep with someone who is special to me, that is my decision, and my decision alone.

I know it exposes me to be hurt. And even though I hurt like hell, through the break up with Almond. I don't regret it. And in the end, I know I've become a better person. I stronger person. A smarter person. And a more forgiving person. I may not be young and naive, or "pure and innocent", but I'm a better person. And whoever my husband will be, he'll be someone is accepting of everything about me.

So, I've decided to head home on Canada Day and confront this (and grab my passport, as well). Wish me luck!!!

Do you currently face any generation or cultural gaps with your parents or elders???

A Confession

Below is a confession that I haven't told anyone yet. Not the entire story, anyway. I feel a bit embarrassed, and a little ashamed about it. I also feel a little surprised I did it, and in a weird way, empowered.

When my friend and I stopped in Berlin during our grad trip, we stayed at a hostel. We were usually really sleepy and tired, and went to bed early and got up late. Our room was shared with about 8 other strangers. A few Mexicans, a couple Russians, a Croatian (that's all that I can recall).

One night, we decided to take our new friends up on their offer, and we head out to a bar together -- my friend and I, the Croatian and the Russian.

The Croatian is drunk, and his Russian friend is very quiet. Both cute. The Croatian reminded me of the new James Bond, just younger and not as built. I'm not sure who the Russian reminded me of. He was a little short, but he liked to dance -- which is something that I always like. So we dance in the bar to the 80's karaoke mix of love songs and such. It was fun.

After a few drinks, we are all a little more happy than we were before. We head back to our hostel. A little weird that we're all crashing in the same room, but that's what traveling is about right? New experiences.

I wash off my make up, change into my PJ's and climb into the top bunk, ready to pass out.

Russian asks me if I want to sleep with him -- in his broken English and mix of hand signals.

Russian: Can I sleep with you?

me: Huh??

Russian: Just sleeping. Only sleeping. Can I join you?

me: NO!

Internal monologue: How drunk does this guy think I am? And in a roomful of people?? Is this how they roll in Russia?

Russian: Just sleeping. No touching. No sex.

I ponder this for a second and a stream of thoughts kinda hit me. Mainly my loneliness for the past year. How it's been so long since I had been close with a guy. To have him hold me. Kiss me. Touch me. It would be nice to be held. Besides, he can't really try anything in a room of 10 people. Not to mention that Croatian had already made himself at home in my friend's bed.

me: No sex. Just sleeping.

Russian nods.

Russian: No sex. I'll be good.

me: OK.

Russian is very happy and then goes to take a shower. He comes back and climbs into bed. I have to admit, it felt really nice to be held. To be caressed. To be kissed. I liked the smell of him cleaned up. I even liked the hint of smoke and liquor when we kissed. But he was a good boy, and we did just go to sleep after a bit.

I didn't end up sleeping much. A part of me questioned what I was doing. A part of me just felt really lonely. A part of me realized that sex means something to me. Even a kiss means something to me. A part of me wished that they didn't. A part of me was glad they did.

Case of the Ex

Another name for this post can be Chocolate Almond Croissant: Part II. This is going to be a long post.

So, I thought that now might be a good time to recap on what happened after Almond and I broke up. This is more for me to get out of my system, since I have never been able to bring myself to put this to paper. It also puts it in perspective.

After Almond and I broke up, some weird stuff happened between us. First, I just was so angry and hurt that I ignored him for a while. It felt like ages and ages to me, in reality, it was about a month and a half.

It was terrible and I am so thankful and grateful for the support of my friends and family. They are the ones who sat with me in the washroom as I cried (I’m not much of a crying-in-front-of-other-people person), bought me Hagan Daaz ice cream, made me peanut butter and chocolate chip brownies while we sat and bitched about my ex.

Might I add that the first Christmas after a break up is horrible. The guy actually had the nerve to send me an email that was so blaming and guilt ridden to make me feel bad for trying to move on with my life. I have never been able to read that email, again. Basically, he hacked my email and read every one for the past month since I refused to talk to him. Then, he had the nerve to tell me that he has been miserable while I have been out with guys.

So what if I started to go swimming with my hot swimmer friend who wanted to give me lessons. It’s no longer any of his business, right? It's not like I rubbed it in his face. He went through my private stuff. Anyway, he made me feel like crap and very guilty. And so, I agreed to meet up with him.

Mistake numero uno. I know. On hindsight, I should not have gone. But sometimes, it's nice to know that I tried to give him a chance even when he didn't deserve one. Sometimes.

We met for coffee. It was obvious that stuff between us wasn’t over. We talked, laughed. And I honestly forgot about all the shit he put me through. We did a little more than kiss. It was good. Better than good.

He wanted to get back together. I said it was a bad idea. I was going off to exchange in Singapore and I knew how he is long distance relationships -- terrible. I would be waiting for his calls, and they wouldn’t come. I would get annoyed and it would just be a damper on my trip. I wanted a break, but we’ll see when I get back. The time apart would give us both some time to figure things out.

We talked, emailed, msn-ed, while I was in Singapore. And a part of me was looking forward to seeing him when I got back to Canada. Who knows, maybe we’ll get back together. I had gone out with a couple guys (more to come on that) and I just didn’t really feel anything. Maybe Almond and I had something special. Who knows?

Almond was graduating that spring, so he went on a 6 week grad trip after his exams. He didn’t’ get back until June, and that’s when we met up.

Perhaps my expectations were held too high. See, I thought that he would realize that he made a mistake. In his frustrated and depressed state of endless job hunting, home problems, school projects, figuring out life in general, and a relationship, he lashed out at the one thing that he could depend on.

I mean, it’s not like he was going to write an email to Microsoft demanding a job or interview. He had no control over that. The way I see it, he saw me as a factor he could control. I didn’t expect us to get back together, or anything, but what I really wanted was an apology for how he handled the situation. Besides, I was always there for him. For five years. I guess he thought that I would fight for us, no matter what.

Backtracking.

Almond said that I didn't fight for us. But I did fight for us. Our break up devastated me. I asked him to reconsider what he was doing, even though I was hurting like hell right after it happened.

I told him he was stressed out, and I was not the cause of it. None of it worked, and I was hurting too much to keep trying. Obviously, he wasn’t taking care of me anymore, and I needed to take care of myself, now.

I had troubles concentrating on studying for exams, I was so afraid I would just barely pass. Every time I looked out the window, my mind spun, as to what went wrong and what I could have done differently.

Was I too bossy? Was I not needy enough? Maybe I should have put up with more since he was going through a tough time. I asked myself so many "what if" questions.

I realize, there comes a time when you have to give up the fight. I think that time comes when the other person has already given up – or expects you to want the relationship to work more than them. Both are bad, in my books. That was the situation I was in.

I later learn that what he wanted to happen was for me to ask for us to get back together, again. That would show him that I cared about us. Seriously. In fact, he said that, if I had theoretically been the one to break up with him, he would have asked me to get back together. Of course, because that would’ve have shown that he cared. Right. This made no sense to me whatsoever.

I told him that if I had broken up with him, I would not expect him to ask me to take him back. I would want him to move on. And for the record, we’re not in elementary school, anymore. Who plays such immature games? Honestly. I felt like he was a completely different person. The man, whom I loved, was replaced by a twelve year old with a big ego. Damn it.

Fast forward.

After Almond came back from his graduation trip, we met up. I'm not going into any details, but basically, it seemed like he put no thought into it.

He didn't feel bad about the crap he put me through, or for acting so childish. He still insisted on the same things -- that I should've fought for us. That I should have asked to get back together instead of trying to move on. That I was wrong for trying to move on. That I was wrong to want to need my space. etc etc.

He made it sound like I owed him a friendship just because we were together for 5 years. Like I was being selfish for not wanting him in my life until I get myself back on track. It was really frustrating.

For some reason, I still thought about giving us a chance. I told him then, that if wanted to try, I was willing, but this is the only chance he's getting. Because if he's not taking this chance, I've obviously wasted more than enough time on him.

Then he gives me some crap about how we just couldn't be together. That we are just fundamentally wrong. I asked for examples.

Honest to god, I'm not lying when I tell you he used these 2 examples.

1) When I went to Booster Juice one time, I got him a strawberry banana shake. He said he didn't like banana and that I should've know that. I apologized and said I forgot that the flavour had banana in it. He kept whining about how I should have known, and that I really don't know him, if I got him banana. Then, I got annoyed and told him if he didn't want it, then don't drink it. So basically, I should not have gotten him banana. Because the guy doesn't like banana.

2) When I first move to my new place, I gave him the wrong directions to get to my house. I have a really bad sense of directions, but also, roads in Waterloo do not run parallel or perpendicular all the way. They wind and curve and do crazy things. So, needless to say, he didn't make it to my place until after a very big detour. He was biking and he was tired and sweaty and I felt terrible. It was an accident. But that was the second example he gave me.

Go figure. Guys can be such fucking idiots. Seriously.

I need a margarita.

** Despite what the bunny says, I've been able to get past this. I really don't hate him or anything. I just don't think it's necessary to talk or pretend to be friends, since I can't really trust him as a friend. I only wish him the best. Those were some really great times we shared, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but it's also time to leave the past in the past, and move on with my life.

Still, it doesn't hurt to put on Daughtry's Over You, right now. :)

Chocolate Almond Croissant: Part I

My ex boyfriend.

I guess I should take this moment to back track a little and give a bit of background information on my past relationship.

I was in a 5 year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I'm going to call him Almond (after the first dessert we shared, a Chocolate Almond Croissant from Michel's)

We met in high school. He was a year older and his locker was next to mine. We were in the same French and Finite class. I thought he was really cute. He was also smart. He answered most of the bonus questions in my Finite class. He was also a little shy, and he looked put together.

I went to a Catholic high school and most of the guys always have their dress shirts all wrinkly, untucked and wore their pants pretty much around their ankles. Almond's shirts would be ironed, and tucked into his dress pants (but not in a dorky way). He always wore a belt, and dress shoes.

Anyway, we started talking and hanging out a lot. I've never dated anyone before. I don't even think I had a guy like me and tell me before. It was all so new and it felt so good.

He was a real sweetheart. He'd always walk me home after school, even though he lived 5 minutes away and I lived a good 15 minutes away in the opposite direction. We'd just walk and talk. There was so much to talk about. He was a great listener and we shared a lot of interesting ideas.

He'd walk me home even in the winter. Winters are not so nice in Toronto. And this made it even sweeter. Though I did feel guilty on the cold days, and told him not to. In the spring and summer, we'd walk through the park and sit on the bench, or in the grass - just talking. I was really happy.

I remember when he first held my hand. We were sitting on the park bench near my house. Our usual stop. I remember his hand was so much bigger than mine. His nails were always trimmed. I rested my head on his shoulders, and he put his other arm around me. Still holding onto my other hand.

We just sat like that for a very long time. It's cliche to say, but I can still remember every moment as clear as day.

We confessed our feelings to each other. He told me he thought I was beautiful. No one had ever told me that before. Parents don't count. I told him I have no idea how to kiss someone, and was scared to mess it up. He said he didn't know either, but assured me he really wanted to kiss me. Then we kissed.

The kiss was basically us pursing out lips together for about 10 seconds. It felt like forever. lol. I guess I was expecting fire works or something to happen. But it was perfect. It was sweet. It was so simple. I could never forget that kiss.

Then he walked me the rest of the way home. With a couple more pecks here and there, since that's all we knew about kissing at that time. We were so giddy and so happy.

I remember one of the most thoughtful gifts I've received was a business suit from Almond on our second Christmas together. Yes, Almond bought me clothes. He was brave. He thought I could use it for my upcoming co-op interviews. He also said that he wanted to see me in it. Guys. :)

He took my sister, S. with him so she could act as a model. He didn't want to give away the surprise. He ended buying me a size 6 or 8. I was a size 0. lol. But it was so sweet. We just got it exchanged, and he liked it even more when it fit properly. I call it my lucky suit.

Fast forwarding a little. Almond and I had a beautiful relationship. He went off to university a year before me, but our relationship grew stronger. Talking on the phone, I still have the letter he sent me on his first week of school. He was out at movies with some new friends. And thought of me and missed me. When he was back in his dorm, he wrote me a letter when an email would have sufficed. I loved it.

I went up to visit him a few times, and met his new friends. They were all really nice, and I keep in touch with them to this day. Anyway, after I left, he told me his friend (who hadn't had a girl friend before) asked him, why he held my hand all the time. lol. He answered, "Because I like to."

Then I went off to university. We were both in engineering at the same nerd university, so we got to see each other during school and even lived together for a while.

For our work terms, we either went off to different places, or stayed in Toronto when there was no where cool that would hire us. He spent four months in Silicon Valley - Santa Clara, California and I spent four months in Boston, Massachusetts. He was very encouraging of me, and I tried to be also of him.

Long distance relationships are hard, but we pulled through. We both learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and about compromising.

Then, things started to not go well in Fall of 2006. He got really stressed with having to find a job after graduating, and I still think that is one of the main causes of our break up. It's hard to say.

He was really unhappy, and playing more and more video games. They were his escape from a bad day at work, or lack of responses from his job applications. I remembered I would go over on Friday nights, and fall asleep waiting for him to finish "this quest." WoW. You know what I'm talking about, guys.

I tried to be understanding, and I even tried to help. But his response to my suggestions, were often, "you don't understand." I guess I didn't.

I would get angry when he would break promises or plans because he had to finish his computer game quest. Again and again. I would get angry, then feel bad for getting angry because he was going through a tough time. It's a very vicious cycle.

One day not long after, I was just really upset. I called up my girlfriend, J. and confided in her. I was crying. Then Almond called. He could tell I was upset and wanted to come over. I said no, it's not a big deal. He came over anyway.

He asked me what was wrong. I didn't want to say, because it was him. It's not that I didn't tell him these things, I just didn't want to get mad at him, again. Then he asked me if he was making me unhappy.

That was a hard question. Lately he was making my unhappy, but he made me so happy before. I just thought we were going through a rough time. After we got through this hurdle, I was sure things would get better.

He didn't agree. He was silent for a while.

I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "About us." I asked him if he was thinking about breaking up. He didn't answer me. Silence can be a horrible thing. But it is an answer.

I started to cry. I buried my head in my pillow and hid under the covers. I told him to leave me alone.

He tried to hold me, and kept apologizing. He said he didn't want it to end this way. I kept pushing him away. Literally. I just wanted him to leave me alone. He said he wasn't leaving until I got up.

Somehow I got up. I don't even remember what I said or what he said. I just knew that when he was about to leave, I kept telling him not to go. Like he was walking out of my life. His last words were, "[Des] I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

That was the worst day of my life. This is the first time in almost 2 years that I have the guts to write about it.

Exhale.

My Dad

I was reading another blogger's post on her dad, and thought, what a great time to write about mine!

My dad. A loving and supporting husband, father, uncle and friend.

I am the oldest of his three daughters. Yes, he always gets teased about being out numbered by females, but don't you worry. My dad can stand his ground.

Growing up, my dad hasn't always been the same person to me, and I haven't always been able to relate to him the same way. My parents have always been very strict, and when I was little, I would be afraid of my dad. I dreaded when he found out about my mischief.

My dad has this presence that can be very intimidating. Just ask my ex-boyfriend (lol....).

My dad was never the type to give me money to go out and buy new clothes or electronics. In fact, I didn't own a cell phone until I could afford my own.

My dad taught me to value money and work hard for it. I had part time jobs during high school, and have paid my way through (most of) my university.

My dad did not take my family on vacations to exotic beaches and islands, we were too poor for that. My dad took us to CNE and Ontario Place (with those free tickets, of course), Wasaga Beach, the zoo, and camping every summer without fail.

Every weekend, we would drive over to the local library and take out a stack of books. Though I'm pretty sure he'd rather stay at home and watch tv, instead of running around with 3 crazy little girls. He's a trooper.

My dad didn't take us to fancy restaurants for birthday celebrations, ie. no Chuck E Cheese or Discovery Zone. Instead, he'd whip up his specialty fried noodles with chives and garlic, a dish of steamed fish, and my mom would steam a cake. I was embarrassed as a kid, and would only invite my best friend over.

Only recently, we start going to restaurants for these special occasions. It wasn't that great. We quickly told my parents that we preferred celebrating at home. Though, it's a little sad that we didn't realize how great we had things until we're older.

Even though we didn't do poorly in school. My parents would always go to a parent-teacher interview if we had less than an A+ on midterms. Seriously. Talk about pressure. But now I know they did it because they cared. Though, they did have high expectations. Asian parents. **shakes head** =)

Through the years, my dad went from being someone I feared, to someone I really respected. Now, he is someone I can also talk to and relate at the same level. Much like a friend. We have come a long way. I can tell him what's on my mind, and I think he can, too.

I can talk to him about my break up, and he understands my pain. But also encourages me to learn from it, cherish the moments and move forward.

I tell him about my fears of stepping into the working world, and feeling like I have to be a grown up, when I have more unanswered questions and thoughts than answers. He reassures me that things will work out just fine.

I tell him of my thoughts of moving to the west coast. He tells me he'll miss his little girl, but will be happy to support me if that's what I want to do.

There's a million other things I could write, but then, this post will never end and I'd probably end up with tears on the keyboards (therefore, cementing the imminent death of my laptop), and you'd have fallen asleep from boredom.

My dad. The greatest, yet most humble man I know.

I'm so lucky to have a such a great role model.

Whatever... It matters.

I'm trying not to censor myself with this blog. I think it's hard for me. To some extent, I like to please people, like most of us. So here goes, with something that's been bothering me for the past little while.


Back track to when I was wee little, say about 13 years old. In a conversation with my dad, he asked me for my opinion, or what to do (about a topic which I don't recall).

Dad: Des, what would you like to do.
Des: I don't know dad. It doesn't really matter.

Pause.

Dad: Des, this is something that I wanted your opinion in.
Des: [shrugs] I really don't know, dad. It doesn't really matter.

I wasn't not trying to be one of those rebel teenagers who show no emotions or cares. It's just that it didn't really matter either way.

My dad takes a deep breath.

Dad: Des, you might not realize this, but by shrugging off my question you are disrespecting me. [You know how Asians are so keen on showing respect, right?] It shows that you don't really care or give 2 hoots of what I'm saying. This is a matter which is important to me, and it would nice if you stopped, and thought about it, and told me your thoughts. That's all.

My dad always has these little "life lessons" for us as kids. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I disagree. This is one of the times, I agree after I've experienced it.

Fast forward to this week. I was trying to plan my grad trip with B., and asked my friend if she wanted to join.

Instead of saying yes or no, she just shrugged and said, "I don't know. I don't really care."

I flash back to that conversation my dad and I had. Even though it probably wasn't said with bad intentions. At that moment, I believe I felt exactly the way my dad did.

I know that not everyone is certain of what they want to do (travels, jobs, money, etc etc). I've asked a few people who might be interested in the trip, and I don't need a concrete answer. Just a thoughtful and honest one. I usually do get straight answers (ie. yes, I'm interested, but I am constrained by ......... , or, no, I'm not interested.)

I was trying to plan a trip. I was spending money, time and effort. A lot of time, money, and effort. I don't like going into things half-heartedly. The "I don't care" really felt like a slap in the face. Like it didn't matter. At all.

I guess, like my dad, I just wanted a straight up answer. Like father, like daughter.

Exploring Egypt and Germany!

7 May 2008.
Toronto, Canada to Frankfurt, Germany.
17 May 2008.
Frankfurt, Germany to Cairo, Egypt.
8 June 2008.
Cairo, Egypt back to Frankfurt, Germany.
12 June 2008.
Frankfurt, Germany back to Toronto, Canada.

Yes, I am a travel junkie. This obsession (or love of mine) actually started about two and a half years ago. I got offered an internship at a consulting company in Boston (yes, the great city of Bah-ston!). Having never set foot off of Canadian soil before, I was really excited and scared.

My time in Boston was amazing. I loved the city, all the old fashioned houses, the easy going attidudes, the delicious food, the people and culture, and I loved taking weekend trips up to NYC. I loved NYC. Broadway Musicals. You can't get any better than Broadway.

I also went on an academic exchange last year (Jan - April 2007) to Singapore and did a bit of traveling around South east Asia.

I met some pretty awesome fellow travelers and we had a lot of fun exploring the cities and national rainforest of Malaysia (Kuala Lampur and Taman Negara), the beaches and limestone cliffs of Thailand (Railey beach), some ancient ruins and beautiful diving spots of my parents' homelands, Cambodia and Vietnam - just to name the highlights.

Traveling gives me such a high. It's the combination of sights, sounds, taste and smell of a new place. It's like I'm stepping into a story book, or a picture. People can be so different, but at the same time, be the same.

Seeing ancient ruins is probably one of my favourite things right now. This revelation stems from my time spent at the Angkor Wat Temples in Cambodia. It's truly amazing stepping onto the same staircases, doorways, or corridors where people who lived centuries before me once walked.

This is are a couple of my favourite pictures from Cambodia.


Fast forward to now. I have been debating a grad trip SOMEWHERE for a while now. I haven't been to too many places, so I'm just excited to step out off this Torontonian soil and see the world. Cities, castles, ruins, landscape, mountains - you name it.

For the past couple weeks, I've been toying with the idea of a trip to Central America or South America, as mentioned in my first post. After doing some research, my friend, B. and I realized it will be wet season in May, and not a good time for the trip. Sigh. But no fear, B.'s friend had asked her if she wanted to join on a trip to Egypt, and B asked me if I wanted to do that instead.

Egypt! I was super psyched! So we started to look into flights and whether we wanted to book tours or not, stops along the way, etc etc. I also have a high school friend who is teaching there, so we even have a local contact! Major plus ;).

Anyway, I'll stop goofing around on Blogger now and do some actual research. These pictures of Egypt count as research, too, right?

Egypt Villager with his Donkey

Temple of Kom Ombo.

Of course, the Gizo Pyramids.

White Dessert.

Marketplace.

Faleccu's along the Nile River

Photo Sources: John Wardell, Hiro008*, Gari Baldi, MBell1975