Thursday, August 21, 2008

Making Time for Committment

I'm not the type of girl to whine, cry and consume a tub of Haagen Daz after a break up. OK. Given that I've really had one break up in my entire life, I may or may do it in the future.

However, during my last break up, I balled my eyes out the day of and the next day. After all my tear ducts were as dry as the Sahara Desert, I proceeded to occupy any spare moment of my time with stuff. That wasn't too hard to do, since I was taking 5 civil technical electives, T.A.-ing a first year calculus extra help session, and doing research on a side for a professor in Building Science. Fun stuff. In my spare time, I hit the gym, and hung out with my girlfriends, guy friends, whoever. Just so that I wouldn't have to go home, and face an empty house with my mind full of thoughts.

I remember after my last exam, I didn't want to go back home cuz my roommates were still studying for their exams at the library. I was so afraid to face my house alone. To be alone with my thoughts. In my room, where Almond had broken up with me.

I ended up tagging along with the guys and watched them play Playstation II. Or III. Or XX. Who knows. I would rather do that than go home. I ended up falling asleep after a couple rounds of some fighting game.

Then I went to Singapore for an exchange term. Needless to say that I was pretty much busy for 4 months. I also really enjoyed just meeting new people, going out and trying new things. I realized that trying new things was something which I was lacking. I mean, I spent so much of my time juggling between studying, family, and Almond, that I really didn't spend that much time on me. So I started trying new things. Stepping a out of my comfort zone. A little at a time.

I came back from Singapore and was more outgoing and more active. I started swimming with a friend (sometimes with the hot swimmer). I took salsa lessons with a friend. I started dragon boating. I played volleyball on the class team. I went out on dates. I went out clubbing. Basically, I just went out. It was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed it. I met someone who made me excited to date again.

We were in the same salsa class, and he was one of my buddies' roommate. He was good looking, easy going and what my friends and I call, "a charmer." Let's call him Gelato. More on him later. Maybe.

I have never been a very active person. However, just being a little more active, not only gave me more energy, but it made me feel better about myself. I also liked the way my arms, shoulders and legs were more toned. It felt good. So I tried to keep up with swimming and running.

Just this year, I realized that I have indeed become quite busy being active. To plan a date would actually require planning ahead, because I kinda had to slot the guy into an appointment time.

It wasn't until lately that there has been someone I'm excited to see. Let's call him, Haagen Daz. I actually want to make some time to see him. It's a nice feeling. But also nice to know that my days are full without any guy, and I could be perfectly satisfied, as well.

I'm not about to throw all my plans out for Haagen Daz. We'll just take it one day at a time, and one date at a time.

I'm still going to stay active, and do all the new activities I have come to love doing -- which was previously used as time void filler. My new activities include soccer (I like indoor more than outdoors), volleyball, dragon boating, swimming and running. I also want to keep up with squash, too. I can't do this all at once, obviously, but a few activities at a time. Maybe I can even kill two birds with one stone and do some of the activities with Haagen Daz.

After all, the first time we met, we were both sweaty and sandy from playing each other on beach volleyball. So much for first impressions, eh? He still looked good. Trust me.


Andy said...

DES! I am SO happy for you. I admire your way of the post-break-up!
And I agree, usually staying active makes ALL the bad feelings and problems disappear.
(Just an advice, don't push yourself too much on exercise because you could get injured, and THEN, you would have plenty of time to think in things you don't want to think).

And I'm so happy to hear about Gelato and Haagen Dazs!! I was expecting to hear from the new guy, but turns out, they're 2!!

Miss Burb said...

That is a very mature way of dealing with a break up. I admit it, I was one to hole myself up in my bedroom with a pint of ice cream and sappy movies for weeks on end. I wish I had dealt with it the way you had; I would have felt a lot better about myself.

It's also good to have a busy schedule. When you're not thinking about it, that's usually when you run into the good ones *guys* and then your so busy you have to fit them in, which would probably keep them interested. Whats that rule anyway? If a guy calls you the night before or the night of, you're suppose to be busy, even if you aren't.

of course, I've never been one to play by the rules

(reading your blog really makes me want some yummy desserts)

Des said...

Andy - Thanks, for the advice. I definitely don't want to hurt myself. Even though I have been alright being alone with my thoughts for a while, now. Yes, more on the boys, later :)

Miss Burb - I think people just deal with things, differently. I did have some ice cream, though. I'm not really sure what the rules are. Though I doubt I've been abiding by them. LOL. Yay, for desserts! :)

Tara said...

Des, that blog was so inspiring! That's great that you found Haagan Daz! I hope a lot of women get to read that blog. It's motivational to read about how much you are doing for yourself and putting your life first instead of giving up everything for a man.


Des said...

Tara, thanks for stopping by! :) This method worked for me, and many ways, I'm glad it happened. It has made me a stronger (and definitely, a more active) individual. Eating ice cream can only heal so much hurt before I start gaining the pounds. LOL.