Friday, August 8, 2008
Pretending to be a Grown Up
That's right. I'm pretending.
So this thought kinda struck me the other day when I got really excited rifling through the fliers -- they had Sunsilk shampoo and conditioner on sale at my local supermarket for $2!!! To top it off, they even had Oil of Olay body wash for only $3! I couldn't wait to hit the store and stock up for the next year or so. Do you know how much this stuff usually costs?!
Then I realized how excited I was about this. And it was kinda pathetic.
I feel like I'm playing house --but for real, now. The only difference is that I can't just leave the toys behind when I'm done and start another game. I also have to buy everything in the said "house," and it costs money. Sometimes, lots of money.
It's funny, I thought that grown ups knew "everything." By "everything", I mean they know most things and generally understand the world around them. In other words, they have answers, which I, never had.
However, now I think it's different. Obviously I am a "grown up", now, and have been for a while. Even though I still feel like a kid inside. (You know, feeling lost and confused most of the time.)
Now, I think being a "grown up" means knowing that you will never know anything for sure, but being able to accept that fact. It's also trying your best, and know that it's all you can ever ask of yourself, or anyone else.
Sometimes, it's about being brave when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and hide away from the world for a while. Sometimes, it's about being strong when the people you care about are hurting too much to stand on their own. Sometimes its about having the faith of a child and just taking a chance.
In the mean time, I'm just going to continue pretending to be an "adult" and get excited about toiletries going on sale, then stocking up for the next year or so. Buy some furniture for my new basement apartment, ogle over bags and shoes I will not be able to afford (yet), and munch on my favourite desserts.