Organization!

So, I've been trying to make some changes in my life.

I think I've gotten over the initial hump of "oh-my-god-I-am-no-longer-in-school-even-though-I-have-been-for-the-last-seventeen-years-of-my-life" crisis. Yay, me :)

I have gotten to the point that I am not that overwhelmed with my life. I have great sisters whom are my best friends and can talk about anything to. I have a great job right out of university as a consulting engineer. I am really liking dating a really great guy. I am on good terms with my parents. I have great friends, keep in touch even if we're far apart, and see my close ones as often as I can. AND I just paid off all my student loans.

Life is good, and I'm enjoying.

I think I was initially overwhelmed with everything because I felt like I had to know everything. Where I will be in 10 years from now. Even 5 years from now. From everything in terms of career, investments, house, car, boyfriend/significant other, etc etc.

Now, I know, and have convinced myself that that is silly. People are constantly changing. I am constantly changing, and to think that I can see into the future is silly. And also impossible.

So, instead of worrying about the future, I am just going to enjoy the present, and set some short term goals for myself.

A couple of areas of development, I am looking to improve are how I look at my finances and taking care of my body.

Not that I spend frivolously or eat very poorly. I think that is next to impossible with the way I was brought up (the Asian cheap genes). But I would like to know more about finances, track them and see where my money is going. Then, I can see if I am really spending my money where I want to be. I want to learn about investing, and do some of it myself. I would also like a place to record my journey along this path

I have a passion for food, and think it might be a good idea to have a place where I can record my cooking and eating woes (and triumphs). I usually only cook about twice a week, since I'm living on my own.

And even though, I can do all that on one blog. I would like to experiment with having 3 blogs. One dedicated to my weekly journal of my personal thoughts of my life (that's this one). One that is similar to a personal finance blog. And one more for my recipes and adventures dining out.

I like to have things organized into categories, and I'm actually really excited to get started on this little project of mine. I will post the links when I get them up and running :)

Wish me luck, and feel free to check them out!

Dancing

Although I have 2 left feet, I love to dance.

Last Friday, I went out with some friends for a night of salsa. It was so awesome.

I took a couple of beginner salsa lessons at school during college. Really, with salsa, it's all about the guy. If the guy can lead, he can make any girl look good.

It took a few tries, but eventually myself and my friends all found our salsa partner for the night. My partner was awesome. He was definitely better than me, but was also very patient in teaching me and helping me learn. Wasn't too hard to look at either. Have I mentioned that I have had a thing for Middle Eastern men since traveling to Egypt? :)

I guess with dancing, flirty might be inevitable. I wasn't interested in more than dancing, and told him so. We kept dancing and I just realized how much fun I was missing out on. Salsa, I will never foresake thee, again.

I got a call from LeBlanc later that night. He actually worked around the corner from the club we were at. I invited him to join us if he was up for some salsa. Unfortunately, LeBlanc did not have any rhythm. But he did put up an honest effort, and I thought it was cute that he was trying :) Though, I swear, at times, I feared for my life when he tried to spin me.

Kiss the Rain

Sometimes when I listen to music, it's just so beautiful that it makes me want to cry. Music invokes such strong emotions, I am always in awe of how people can create something so beautiful.

When I heard this song on the electric violin, I just put in on repeat for the rest of the night.

I have decided to print out my pictures into a photo album (non digital one) since my photos just stay on my hard drive and I never look at them.

One Step at at Time

I've always been someone who likes to have a plan, to know where I'm going, and where I am at the moment. I guess, one thing I'm learning is that I don't have to be that person all the time, because, frankly, I'm not exactly sure where I'm going and where I want to end up.

I just know one thing. The most important thing to me is to be happy. To be content. To be able to spend time with the people I care about. To do the things that I want to do. To be able to find satisfaction in my work.

I used to think of myself as someone who had "it" together. To be honest, I used to imagine myself as one of those people who find their true love in high school, and then get married after college and live happily ever after. And when you see yourself like that for a while, it's hard to convince yourself that, "No, you didn't 'fail'. It just didn't work out." As silly as that might sound to you.

I guess in my relatively short time of dating, I feel as though I've learned more about what I don't want than what I want.

I don't want someone who is arrogant. Biggest turn off. Ever. I was in Singapore and one of my classmates asked me out for dinner and a movie. "Wahoo!" I thought, "My first date in a foreign country." After the movie, we went out for dinner and he spent 95% of that time telling me about how great he was, and all the important people who he knew. Yawn.

I also realize that I can be with the nicest guy in the world, and there would be no chemistry whatsoever. I had no urge to kiss them, and thought of what I would do, should they try to lean in for a kiss. Which also brings the question, why do girls not like nice guys? Is it really because they make it too easy or show all their cards? I don't know. I really wanted to like a nice guy, though.

I realize that education and career goals do matter to me. Even though I'm not attracted to a work-a-holic, I have a lot more respect for someone who has career goals, or life goals. Someone who tells how great it is that they are watching episodes of House at work, doesn't float well with me. (Haagan Daz)

I also learned that I could really like a guy because he's smart, attractive, fun and still have this teeny tiny bit of hope, even when he turns out to be a jerk. Why?! I don't know. (Don't worry, that phase has passed.)

With LeBlanc right now, I have no plan. I don't know where we're going. Where we are, though, is good for me right now. We're dating. We see each other about once a week. I get massages, and flowers :) I like this testing period.

Last week, I went over and he cooked me dinner. Shepherd's pie :) And the weekend before I made him dumplings (frozen ones).

I like this part of dating, I feel like I'm testing him out (for lack of a better term), and I haven't really found anything that I don't like.

Neither of us are big phone people, though we do talk about once a week. I wonder if that's a no-no. I remember I used to talk to Almond for hours on the phone. Every relationship is different, and I'm trying to just do what I feel comfortable with, instead of over analyzing and over thinking everything. Have I turned into a non-phone person?

I know that I don't feel like I'm crazy about him - in that way where I can't think of anything else. That's not to say that I don't think about him (quite a bit more now, actually), and I look forward to seeing him. But... is this how things start? Am I taking baby steps?

Call me crazy, but a part of me is thinking that I might find something that I won't like, or he might find me utterly boring, and it will be "the end". Yea, I am quite the optimist, aren't I?

$45 on diapers in May 1989

That's how much my parents spent on diapers in May of 1989. Their organization and financial detailing and spending is something that I wish I had half of. It truly is amazing.

It's crazy. The older I get, the more I am in complete and utter shock and how my parents were able to pull through raising us kids.

When I was little, and until I was in grade 7, my dad was the sole provider for my family. My mom babysat for cash when I was in grade 2 until grade 7, and after that she went back to work. Though, it was very little in hind sight, it was enough that we could save away and use my dad's income for most of the day to day spending.

Even though my dad was a book keeper in Hong Kong and my mom an accountant, when they came to Canada, they have always worked in factories. My was working making airplane wings at MacDonald Douglas until he was laid off. Then, he worked at a wall paper company in the press lines until he was laid off. And until lately, he has been working in the assembly lines of a car manufacturing company.

My dad's pay cheque for the month was just a little over what I make now in 2 weeks. I know that the dollar was worth more in the past, but it astounds me and humbles me that my parents were able to provide so much for their 3 little girls, when they had so little themselves.

This makes me feel quite guilty for not knowing where my money is going. It's not that I spend frivolously (or, at least I don't think that I do), I just realized that if you asked me how much I spend on groceries last month, I can't give you an exact number.

So this is one of my new year resolutions - too keep better track of my expenses.

Next step would be to start looking into some investments, but first I'm going to focus on paying of my student loan (so they can stop getting all that interest from me!), and tracking my expenses. Wish me luck! :)