Thursday, May 28, 2009

I Miss Him

LeBlanc is in London right now, 5 hours ahead.  Even though I spent the entire weekend with him (minus Saturday morning when I had to work, but he was sleeping, anyway), it didn't really hit me that he was leaving. 

It didn't hit me, when we cleaned up the kitchen.  (Mostly him, I hate cleaning other people's messes.  I would run downstairs and bring him the broom, so he can sweep, as I perched on a stool and point out spots he missed!  haha!)  

And it didn't hit me when he did his 3 loads of laundry.  Or when I helped him sort out his 3 loads of laundry and pack his bags.  Or when some of his friends came to hang out at his patio and he kept saying, "I don't want to go!"  Or when I drove him to his office to pick up dry cleaning.  Or when I drove him home to see his family for a little bit before his flight.  Or when his limo came to pick him up.  Or when he hugged me, and kissed my forehead, as his family was standing around us.

None of this really hit me.

It wasn't until after he left, and I started the drive home.  I stopped at a gas station to fill up on gas, turned the corner, and the radio played the song, "Music of my Heart" by NSync and Gloria Estetan.  And then, I started crying.  I haven't heard that song in ages, and it's not like we have a "song" or anything.  Maybe it was the lyrics.  I just felt like I would miss him.  A lot.  

I haven't missed someone like this in a while, and the feeling scares me a little.  It's a little overwhelming the reign he has on my emotions.  After Almond, I've kept my feelings guarded, but this feeling just happened.  

Would he miss me?  Is he sobbing pathetically while NSync is blasting from the radio?  

I miss him.  

Who do you miss right now???


Greears said...

Oh Des! How long is he going to be gone anyway? I'm sorry you have to go through this. I am sure he is thinking about you too, he is a guy though and can compartmentalize his feelings. Hang in there.

Des said...

Greears - He's going to be back for a week and a half in mid June. He was thinking of coming back this weekend, but it would be quite tiring for him, and I'm also tied up with family and might not have too much time to spend with him. I'm thinking of him, a lot, and we do text/talk/e-mail everyday.