Honestly, I do. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing or a good thing. That’s why I need this blog. I need to get it out.
Sorry I haven’t replied to your comments. I love reading what you guys have to say! I haven’t had internet at home since I moved (again) in September, and these blogs were posted when I was at work. I didn’t want to check my URL at work. Just in case.
My random thoughts:
My friend from high school is getting married. She is my age – 24. They are bought a house together. It feels surreal.
I know. She’s getting married. Not me.
How can I voice it that I think she is doing it for the wrong reasons. I feel like I’m more stressed out about it than her. If that is possible.
I’m afraid that she is getting married for the wrong reasons, and will end up unhappy.
Why do I keep saying it’s for the wrong reason? I know, it’s not my place to judge, and everyone is different. This is why.
Her parents want her to get married. To someone who is of her religion – she is Sikh.
She was in a couple of serious relationships. Then, she decided that she would give up on them, and just let her parents choose someone for her, because this dating thing wasn’t working out.
The first guy, I didn’t like. He was very possessive, and for some reason, she felt like she had to lie to him about her education. Long story. Basically, they were engaged, and then they called it off.
The second guy, she didn’t even tell me about until a year or so into their dating. Then last Christmas, when we met for lunch, she told me of her dilemma. The guy’s family wanted him to have an arranged marriage, and did not want to accept her.
The way I saw it, was that the guy did not have the guts to stand up for the woman he cared about. He didn’t want to break it off with my friend, but also did not want to “hurt” his family. Aside: I’m not sure how a marriage could hurt your family. I would think that your family would be happy for you if you were happy, no?
My friend gave him an ultimatum after about 3 years into it, and said that if he did not stand up to his family about her, she would have to break it off, and just get an arranged marriage. And that is what she did.
This April, my friend calls me on my birthday and tells me of the news. I know I should be happy for her, but I just feel scared.
She seems fine with it. She said she likes him enough. Though, I’m not sure what “enough” is. She said this way, she gets to know him for a few years, and then have kids when she’s about 27. Seriously. What am I supposed to say in response?
I guess why I think about it so much, is because I always reflect other peoples’ lives onto my own. Will this be what I am going to resort to? God, I hope not. I still think that marriage should be romantic. With someone that you just can’t get enough of. Whom you love more than anyone else. Whom you’re just happy being around.
Or am I just naïve in thinking that that exists?
I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. Not in a bad way. Just thinking of how things were. How things changed so much. Wondering how his life is now. Thinking that he set the bar a little too high for me in the relationships department. Wondering if I will ever meet someone who could make me feel as happy and as special as he made me feel.
I’ve been thinking of writing him a letter. No so much as in sending it to him, but what I would write if I were to write him a letter. That’s for another post. You’ll see what I mean.
In the meantime, I should get back to work.
Wish me luck at the wedding. I hope there is good food. And my sari is loose enough that I can eat all the good food.
Oh! And I hope I meet some hot, brown dude there.
Food, and hot guys. I’m not asking for much, right?